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Sit And Wait

by We Hold Hands And We Jump

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about

SIT AND WAIT
whhawj
JULY 2016

-----------------------

"Gorgeous, haunting"
-a young fan

"You are very talented and have a great future ahead of you."
-an old pro

"Almost reared up."
-a friend who meant "teared"

"By far your best.. downright chilling"
-a record label person

"like jeez 1000000/10, this is what i hope my music sounds like one day. fucking incredible stuff my dude."
-an excited blogger

"I know I've said things like this before but honestly your music means so much to me. I don't know how to explain. You mean so much to me and I wish I could figure out the words I want. sit and wait is wonderful by the way. Thank you for that."
-a kind teenager

"I listened to some of your stuff. I think you have potential. Keep up the fight."
-a distant relative

".... so this string of messages was ultimately pointless to you so i'll make it worth your while hopefully by saying thanks yet again for making super chill and wonderful music that never fails to move me."
-a pen pal of sorts

"Hey sooo.. totally random but I've wanted to tell you for a while that I adore your music and I'd be lying if I said it hasn't helped me through some shitty times. Please never stop making the music that you do."
-a beautiful stranger

"Just stupid!!"
-an old lady on facebook

credits

released July 18, 2016

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about

We Hold Hands And We Jump Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

whhawj (we hold hands and we jump) is the name of a very powerful young wizard clan. we make lo-fi gonzo music that varies greatly from album to album.

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Track Name: Call It Oceanfeet
call it oceanfeet
--------------

You could find a quiet place to read,
And watch the pages burn up, right in front of you.
You could pass away while you're asleep,
and I'll just let you.

Even the worst
Endings
Resolve.

I'm going to puke
In my oxygen tank.
My friends will carry me away
To where they keep you.
I'll shuffle in at
Night and I will
Cut off your feet.
They will remind me of you.
In twenty years, I'll join you.

You will die
How you lived -
Adrift
On a sea
Of abandoned
Ideas,
Alternating states
Between a parent and
A child.

I will sing about you
for the rest of my life.
You might
Want to
Come back.
Could you?
Would you?

Could you?

Would you?

What happens to
The part of you
That owns all
These clothes?

What happens to
The part of you
I never got
To know?

What happens to
The part of you
That dies
Before me?

It lives forever
In my mind.
It walks forever
In the sea.

You told me I should
Write a song, and
Call it "Oceanfeet".

I never told you
Even still, how much
You mean to me.

I never liked you
All that much, shit
I feel guilty.
Shit.
Track Name: Whisper In The Mirror
stoic
--------------

Hours past midnight, I found myself
At a gas station.
Hungry, lost and still
Tired, blank from pills.
I walk like an old man
I look like I'm home from the old war
I'm fresh off the plane,
But I've no desire to celebrate.

Maybe I'm meant to be lonely.
Maybe I'm meant to be alone.
I retreat to the only way
I feel at home.

I find my way home, I collapse
In the doorway.
The smell of ashes
Follows me home -
The smell sticks.

I don't think you were good for me
I don't think you were good
But you had me feeling
Some kind of warm.

Some kind of warm.

I made mistakes when I
Was young,
At least I know that
Now.
I will never be
The same,
Now that I've
Watched my brain
Melt.

You win some,
You lose some.
I hope
I looked good for
The cameras.

"Where did you go?"
I whisper in the mirror
As the toilet
Overflows.
"How can you stay
So god damn stoic?"
"How does your heart break
Without you even knowing it?"

Maybe I'm meant to be crazy,
Like I always seem to be.
You can cry on my shoulder,
You can be my everything.

Like I'm a part of the background
It's seeping into me.
You're a warning sign
In a language I can't read.
Track Name: For Levi
for levi
--------------

I used to haunt my friends' homes.
I used to live like a ghost.
But I'm a grown-up now,
I'm too old for that stuff.

I used to taste like drugs.
I used to watch the sunrise.
But I don't much now,
It hurts my eyes.

I saw myself
As a child, in a dream
He seemed
Disappointed in me
But mostly
Concerned
With the bags
Living under my eyes.

I used to feel so free.
I used to seem so happy.
Now my voice just cracks,
In some pathetic excuse for singing.

Days sprint by like runners.
Love will fade away.
You're a grown-up now,
So that shouldn't be a problem.

You're nostalgic
For the days
That haven't come,
Yet.
You're smoking
All the time.
My dad used to
Tell me,
"Life's a sandwich
Made of shit -
We all gotta
Take a bite."

You're a plastic ship
In a bathtub full of blood.
You're a chocolate chip
In a burning pancake.
This is a factory farm.
Take bites of what's in front of you.

I can leave the house
I can leave the house
I can take a shower
I can't even wait
A half-hour
NO TIME
LIKE NOW
I can change
I know how
I am frantically
Running back home
Now, to tell you, but, I
Haven't eaten, and
I get so tired, I
Run out of impulse
To try to explain it
To try to explain it

It's not hard to control me
I am a slave to this body.

I could be an android,
Robotic little dude
Shitting out my outputs,
Eating all my food.

Or I could run away,
Finally giving merit to
The things I say.
We're all hypocrites,
Accept that and
Move on.
We're all grown-ups
Here, I can
Say what I want.

I am a boat
I'll sail it and grow old
But never quite that old
Gotta leave room
To grow
I want to be happy
I want to be in your company
It hurts to explain it
I don't expect you
To understand

To understand
Track Name: Love In Vain
love in vain
--------------

I
I will wait for you
Anywhere you want
Me to wait for you
And wait
As long as you like
I'll wait forever, I
Would die for you

I will someday love you
In a place full of shining
Little details that prove
That you are not alone.

Let's
Let's hop on a train
And ride it til we feel
Like getting off a train
Let's
Let's go fly a plane
We'll crash it and we
Won't know what we're
Doing and we'll spiral
To the ocean

Can we
Clasp our hands
Together
And hover
Several dozen miles above the ground?
You are
Magical and when
You're by
Me I can
Feel it in me too.

I wish that you could see
How easy it can be
To be
Alive.

I'm just like you
In so many ways
In lots of way I can't
Explain to you.

You are all I think about
When I'm alone.
Track Name: Bright Candles By Thy Side
bright candles by thy side
--------------

Loneliness became
The smoking gun
Uptown fumes enveloping
The sun
I watch it go
Carelessly, you fall
From my back
Pocket, like a
State ID.

I've lost a part of me
I never wanted
To let go of.
Maybe in a year
Or two, I'll fall
Right back
In love, but
People are
Fragile, people are
Small, inconsequential
To my fall.

I'm wandering off
I'm outside the lines
I'm waiting
On a stranger
To look me
In the eyes.

Jestem rozrzucając popiół
Kochanie
Jestem jednym z krajobrazem
Pływające
Track Name: Scratched Out Names
scratched out names
--------------

I will walk to the ends
Of the earth, at least
Until I get cold
I will push one leg
Above another until
My secret's told

When I stumble, I will fall
I'll continue even if I have
To crawl.
The trails that I face
Can't faze me
At all,
Can't stand me
Less tall,
But it's tough
To kill a thought.
It really is.

I'll avoid the things
That make me think
Of you, I ardently
Refuse to be your slave
A diary with scratched-out names
I know you're trying to help
But you don't know what you're saying.

So you feel like dying
Go ahead and feel like dying
You're so sure you'll never beat it
Don't call 'em problems,
Call 'em reasons
No one deserves that kind of treatment,
Not even suicidal feelings.
It really is that simple.
It really is.

Keep an eye on humankind
Peoplewatch to pass the time
People love to pass the time
Keep connected with the outside
Snorting pills to wake alive
Quitting pills to wake alive

One night I caught the fever
In the devil's bed
I could be dead right now
But I'm here, singing instead
These hands can crush the wheel of time
And I can send you back there
This body isn't quite right
But there are ways to make it mine
These hands can stand the test of time
And I can make it there
This body isn't quite right
This body isn't quite right
These really are the thoughts I keep
That which have power over sleep
You're just saying that, I know
But I love what you're trying to show
These really are the thoughts I keep
That which have power over sleep
You're just saying that I know
You're just saying that I know

As above, so below
As above, so below
As above, so below
As above, so below
Track Name: Human Shaped Holes
human-shaped holes
--------------

I stare at the space between us
Like a river, growing wider
I watch you drinking, and your mouth
Looks like the mouth of a dead bird
Animals hiding in ferns
Watching us drift apart like branches
Human testaments to things
That are probably gone by now
That are probably gone by now

I got to my hotel room
And I did the locks real tight
Walls lined with pictures, crayola
Colors make me feel just right, oh
These little bottles aren't enough
To get me talking
Oh, the places I'd have gone

I don't recognize this face
I don't understand what
Happened to this place
While I was gone
Whenever I leave
I get aches, I get these
Unexplainable pains

And again and again and again and again and again
And again and again and again and again and again

Keep growing number
Everybody gets their turn
Every needs to crash and burn
Every now and then, or they won't learn
Every needs to crash and burn
Every now and then, or they won't learn
I can't please everyone
Or anyone

You cut me off from life support
I feel like a patient on a table
On a mothership, and you cut
Me open, and now you're trying
To sew me back up with all of
The parts of me I don't like in
Your hands, grasping at straws
That I can't stand, you tell me
You're done, you tell me to
Stand, but I can't face what's
Inside me again, you tell me
You're done, you tell me to stand
But I can't face what's inside me
Again

I'll congratulate myself
I have found the things that sting
Even now, they linger around, but
I have a lot of doubt
In my young head, we are
Human-shaped holes, we are
Probably gone by now
We're probably gone by now
We're probably gone by now
We're probably gone by now
We're probably gone by now
Track Name: Kind Of Pretty
kind of pretty
--------------

Rot and fade
Bask in the sounds of decay
It doesn't seem to make much difference, anyway
It sounds the same either way
It hurts to write
It hurts to write
But I will fade away if I don't
I need to confide
Or someone by my side
Oh, someone by my side

Masked men conducting experiments
Somebody who asks where I'm from
Places for a secret to hide in, and
Records of the things left behind

It hurts to talk
I will try to start a conversation
With the nurse who changes my clothes
I didn't notice, I
Am getting older all the time
I didn't notice, I'm
Getting older all the time

It's hard to imagine
The things that I felt
Happen to me
And not somebody else
Not somebody else
I am somebody else

Oh, I'll sing myself a new love song
Oh, I'll get shipped off to the shrink
Oh, stop on the way to the madhouse
And pick me up something to drink
Pick me up something to drink
Pick me up something to drink
Pick me up something to drink

Oh, I think I'm starting to see things
I think I'm starting to crack
I call forth powerful deities
These names for disorders, they sound
Kind of pretty

Grinding like old machines
Lost like a memory
Soft-bodied animals
Living lives out on me

Lives out on me
Track Name: Abscess
abscess
--------------

(no lyrics).
Track Name: Zugzwang
zugzwang
--------------

In my hole
I draw pictures
To survive
Wishing someone else
Was here, I could
Show them
I'm alive
I get scared
When time
Moves forward
Why can't I
Un-think these things?
Why can't I
Un-torture torture?
I want to huff
On the back
Of the delivery
Truck, maybe
If I'm lucky,
It'll go to
Another town
Or city, I will
Start again
I will never
Make amends
With the
Enemies
I've made
I try to be
Nice, I'm
Going to
Need a
Reason
Not to
Jump
My fellow
Man
Is the
Only reason
I still have my
Ears, 'cause other
People always make
Me feel like I exist. Do
Other people always feel
Like
That?

In the mirror
Is someone
That I met, once
After our one night
Together, I
Developed
Schizophrenia, or
Maybe, that's just
The way I've always
Been. I've always known
These demons, and I always
Just ignored them, but when the
Visions get too loud, they leave me
Screaming on the bathroom floor, pissing
Myself, and throwing up, and I've never been
So scared of anything at all quite like
Everything inside myself, now.

I will get back to normal after
Just a couple hours
And then I will go to work
For five days
At night I'll stay awake
And fight my rouge imagination
No one's gonna hear me scream
I will sit and watch it all repeat
Until I die in the snow
Cold, alone, and helpless
I just wanted to help
But I can't help you
I can't help myself
How do you love
When you can't love
Yourself?
How could I cheer you up
When I'm inside of
Some kind of living hell?
I will get back to normal
After just a couple hours
And then I will go to work
For five days
At night I'll stay awake
And fight my rogue imagination
No one's gonna hear me scream
I will sit and watch it all repeat
It repeats, it repeats, it repeats,
It repeats, it repeats.
It repeats, it repeats, it repeats,
It repeats, it repeats.
Track Name: 1200mg
1200mg (twelve hundred milligrams)
--------------

I found another little part of me
That's certainly not mine down here
I'll throw it out when I learn how
I'm gonna take a little rest now
Listen to the cards in the deck, now
If anything can calm me down,
It's how empty rooms sound, to
Someone like me

It swirls around and hits you
It hurts you and it covers up your vision
It hugs you
It loves you
Just like I do
I drank
Twelve hundred milligrams of
Some shit
Can you feel the holes in my chest
From way out there?
Can you hear me breathing, maybe?
You can treat me like a cigarette butt
I love it, I want more of it
Stop, slow down
Stop, slow down with me

If we sing hard enough, and long enough,
We might start to heal
Ask yourself if you're dying or if you
Just need to have the conversation that
You've always meant to have with
Yourself right now
I'm gonna sink into the ground
If you don't come over right the fuck now
Watch lookout, I'm blind with fear of
What god has in store for
Someone like me
Of what most strangers think
When they look at me

Who do they see?

No one's ever felt this good before
I'm gonna punch through the window
Of a liquor store, but
It's not like it was last time, baby
I take twelve hundred milligrams
I take twelve hundred milligrams

I hear voices in my head
But you swear I'm gonna be okay
I will make sure they die with me
They die with me
They die with me

WE ARE ADULTS WITH BANK ACCOUNTS.
MY HAPPINESS IS NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT
THING TO OTHER PEOPLE BUT IT SORT OF IS
TO ME. I WANT TO THINK OF OTHERS FIRST. I
WANT THE KIDS I'LL NEVER MAKE TO BE
BURIED NEXT TO ME, ROTTING IN A WORLD
THAT NEVER WANTED THEM. THEY DIE WITH
ME. I WILL MAKE SURE THEY DIE WITH ME.
Track Name: Sit And Wait
sit and wait
--------------

Bring the loudest chime
Bring the heads on pikes
Bring my spirit to the throws
Sacred dark of night
Ring your battle cries
Bring your futile tries
All summer nights bring summer days
In the distance, a band plays
Warped by night, and
Worn from the rain, I am
Faceless and lifeless
I will continue to train

Dream about a better world
Wrapped in dirty blankets
Dream of being warmer
Dream of growing older, and older

Find something to sacrifice
Nightly rituals burn my soul, my time,
I am dead to my old friends
I am numb to feeling miserable
And uncomfortable
I'm in pain
I'm tired all the time
Unsatisfied, I
Barely feel alive
I am an insect in a bucket
Placed by tools beyond my comprehension
I'm an insect in a bucket
Barring divine intervention, I accept my fate

I'm overwhelmed
I'm overwhelmed
When the shadows start to crawl
I'm carried like a hog and stricken from the bone
I'll sit and wait for myself to get happy again

I will wait
As long
As it takes
No matter what
I don't care what the doctors say,
I am still breathing.
I will not stop until it stops being fun.
It's not fun anymore.
It's stopped being fun

To feel so small
To stare at walls
When the weariness finally lays me down
Crowds gather in my hometown
They applaud and chant for a while,
Then go back to their day

I sang a couple songs for you tonight
I hope you get something out of them

You're just
A passing stranger in the night
Whom I try not to make eye contact with
If I try, would you try with me?
If I try, would you try with me?
If I try, would you try with me?
If I try, would you try with me?
If I try, would you try with me?
With me